In Lynn Messina’s recent article in the New York Times, “Chained to the Hearth or Warmed by It?” she addresses the issue of motherhood vs. career, a question related to the hotly debated Lean In – Lean Out controversy first named by Sheryl Sandberg in her book, Leaning In (about the challenges faced by women wanting a successful career). Messina writes that she was reluctant to have children but was persuaded when her husband agreed to do 85% of the parenting until their prospective child was a teenager. She concedes that her husband has done more than his share of house cleaning and parenting, especially given his demanding job, and she proclaims that the arrangement has turned out to be “an amazing liberation” for her. “All I have to do is be with [my son]: no work, no e-mail, no telephone calls, no guilt.” Motherhood seems to provide an escape for her from career-related responsibilities (she is a part-time copy editor and novelist); nowhere does she mention, however, the joy and amazement of nurturing a young son and watching him grow and change.
In my new novel, Boundaries: A Love Story, coming out in October, the young protagonist, Kaia Matheson, has strong views regarding motherhood: she vows to have children and never to leave them, a more deeply felt instinct than any desire, at least at the age of sixteen, to have a successful career. She evolves from a teenager feeling abandoned by her workaholic mother (who has moved from Berkeley to Manhattan in furtherance of her high-powered job), into a young woman who engages in an imprudent but profound love affair and must decide how much compromise regarding her career path she is willing to make for the sake of this relationship and eventually for motherhood.
Read the New York Times article at http://tinyurl.com/mje3ltc and let me know your thoughts about this very relevant topic in women’s and men’s lives.
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